What Do I Do When My Dog Ignores Me?
"My dog just completely ignored me when I asked him to sit. What should I do?" This question comes up frequently from clients and students in my training classes. As a committed positive reinforcement trainer, my answer is nuanced but important.
What I Don't Do
First, let me be clear about what I never do when my dog doesn't respond to a cue:
I don't push, shove, or kick my dog
I don't yell or scold
I don’t repeat the cue without changing anything else or first getting curious
The Power of Curiosity
When I’m my best self and my dog ignores a cue, I pause, reflect, and get curious. I ask myself: "Why didn't he respond to what I asked?" The answers typically fall into one of these categories:
Incomplete Learning: He hasn't fully learned this verbal cue yet, though I thought he had
Poor Generalization: He knows the behavior at home but hasn't practiced it in this new environment
Competing Reinforcers: The environment offers more compelling rewards than I can currently provide
Environmental Challenges: The setting is too distracting for him to focus or even hear me
Emotional State: He's too nervous, excited, or stressed to respond appropriately
Physical Discomfort: What I'm asking might cause him physical pain or discomfort
All Behavior Is Information
If we operate with the understanding that all behavior is information, then being "ignored" is actually valuable feedback. And this feedback isn't telling us that our dog is stubborn or trying to dominate us.
A Thoughtful Response
So, what do I actually do when my dog ignores my cue? My response depends entirely on why I hypothesize that he ignored me:
In the moment:
I might wait for offered attention and try again
I might repeat it but give him more support (add a visual cue or a food lure)
I might try to rearrange the environment (or us in the environment) to make the behavior easier to do
we might need to temporarily remove ourselves from an overwhelming environment
After the moment, I might decide:
we need more practice with that particular skill
we need to create a more gradual approach to challenging situations
in some cases, we might need to consult with a veterinarian about potential physical issues
Examples of rearranging the environment
What does it mean to rearrange the environment to make the behavior easier? In classroom settings, this might be as simple as placing a visual barrier between dogs. Out in the real world, it could involve creating distance from distractions or utilizing natural visual barriers like snow banks, cars, or trees.
One of my students demonstrated this concept beautifully. During class, she asked her dog to sit—a behavior he had performed many times before in that same classroom. However, on this particular day, she had dressed him in costume wings that strapped around his body. When he "ignored" her cue to sit, she thoughtfully removed the wings, and he immediately sat down. The wing straps had likely made sitting uncomfortable or unfamiliar for him.
Moving forward
The next time your dog appears to "ignore" you, pause, take a breath, and consider why this might be happening. You'll likely discover that your dog isn't being difficult—he's communicating something important about his learning process, his environment, or his wellbeing.
I'm working on applying this same sense of compassion and curiosity to my own behavior too. After all, couldn't we all benefit from assuming less intentionality behind perceived "failures" and instead approach them with genuine curiosity about what barriers might exist?
By shifting our perspective from "my dog is ignoring me" to "my dog is trying to communicate something," we open ourselves to deeper understanding and more effective training. And perhaps most importantly, we strengthen the bond of trust between ourselves and our canine companions.
If you're struggling to get your dog to listen to you in public settings, I'm here to help! Whether it's busy streets, dog parks, or family gatherings, we can work together to build reliable responses even in challenging environments. Reach out today to schedule a an introductory call and take the first step toward more joyful outings with your four-legged friend.